For centuries, Halloween has been associated only with scary ghosts, goblins, and other weird freaks we should avoid. It, in fact, originated from the annual Celtic tradition of dressing up in scary outfits to ward off spirits that were believed to resurface on Halloween.
However, people today have found ways to make celebrating the holiday fun. Some dress up in goofy costumes and create creative decorations, while others share funny Halloween-related quotes.
In this article, we will focus on making your Halloween a spooky and humorous conjugation. We have shown you examples of funny Halloween quotes below that will surely put a smile on those spooky faces.
Best funny Halloween quotes
In this section, we will show you a mashup of Halloween-related comical quotes. The jokes come in different forms such as those that are satirical, so pick your preferred way of cracking people up.
- Ghosts are such attention-seekers. They should be six feet under enjoying their time away from this treacherous earth, but they choose to hover around houses and cemeteries like pestering mosquitoes.
- The rush American children get when Halloween approaches is like them having mega sugar rushes combined with being high on coke. All this because of getting to wear fancy costumes and get free candy all night…okay, maybe I’m being a jealous African child.
- Hell is empty on Halloween. Not because all the ghosts and demons come out to play but because human beings get to dress up in costumes that resemble the witches they are.
- The real reason why I get excited about Halloween is because I get to have a valid reason to scare the annoying neighbor’s kid, but trick-or-treating is fun too.
- Whoever came up with the concept of goblins looked at how short short-tempered people are annoying and thought that they would make an even more gruesome freak of nature by making them uglier. Truly heinous.
- Children from Western countries are lucky bastards. They have Santa on Christmas Day, free candy on Halloween, high school dances, and prom night. Lord, if the children on these other continents are rocks just say so.
- If I had to travel via broom I would crash land into a tree mid-cackle and ruin my brand. Now everyone would have been left looking at me awkwardly as I picked up my hat and portion ingredients.
- But are skeletons really that scary? We see them in school labs and even play with them. They just look like they’re always smiling. But because of actors and their influence on us, we are retrained to believe they are scary.
- Halloween is cool until your child believes that he’s a powerful being which is great until it’s not. You do not want to raise a person who’ll become a crazy thirty-year-old who still believes that he can control the weather because you left the fan on when he was playing Avatar with his friends.
- Witches are cool but when it comes to their fashion sense, they need serious intervention. When this is finally done, they will be the symbol of women’s empowerment in the world of freaks. They were always more respected and feared than wizards anyway.
- Skeletons are less annoying than humans. They are humans but without the complexity and annoying nature. Halloween should portray them as nice beings rather than scary freaks.
- Vampires are the Superman of Halloween creatures. They can fall in love, give you eternal life, run fast, and fly. All zombies do is eat brains, not see anything, and look dirty all the time.
- What if vampires are men who just like long black trench coats with long collars and have a genetic disorder where their canines are longer than normal? What if they are an undiscovered race? I should look for a producer and file a trademark for this idea because it’ll be the biggest plot twist of the year.
Short funny Halloween quotes
Other times, not much needs to be said for you to make people burst out in laughter. Here are some short funny Halloween quotes that will make everyone’s Halloween.
- Magicians are just basic witches. Who even says ‘Abracadabra’ anymore?
- They say skeletons don’t like hilarious people because they could crack their ribs.
- I love Halloween because I get to let out my inner weirdo, like a werewolf when a full moon rises.
- The winners of Halloween costume contests should be called ‘Hallowqueens’ and ‘Hallowkings’.
- Werewolves transforming under the full moon is proof of how white light is so blinding.
- A spooky but smiling face is the basis of horror movies these days.
- What do you mean witches travel on brooms, I can’t even park right.
- I’ll keep trick-or-treating until I one day trick-or-treat my way into a Halloween adventure that makes me queen of the underworld.
- The real scary creature of the night right now is climate control but let everyone focus on what they find important.
- All jokes told on Halloween should be rightfully called dark humor.
- Apart from it meaning someone who deals with dark forces, the name “Wizard” would make a common English name.
- Bats are for vampires, wolves for werewolves, black cats for witches, and pigs for zombies because they are disgusting.
- My older sister doesn’t need a Halloween costume when her face already scares guys away.
- I fear that one day, the creatures we imitate will get tired of our mocking of them and teach us a lesson.
- A day dedicated to scaring people and eating candy? Those are two of my favorite things. Sign me up!
- Demons sure do have a hell of a time on Halloween!
- The ghostbuster’s assistant lost the tracked ghost when he was busy thanking his boss for telling him, “That’s the spirit!”
- I came up with a new Halloween million-dollar trademark. “Halloweiners”
- What do you mean you hate Halloween, can’t you see that it’s all about the candy and outfit contests?
Funny Halloween Movie Quotes
With the presence of a widely celebrated holiday like Halloween, Hollywood has always pounced on the money-making opportunity and made thousands of movies based on the holiday. Below are some funny quotes from different Halloween movies ever made.
- “Mystery is my mistress. I must heed her sweet call.” — Velma, “Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed”
- “I am reminded of a line from Erich Segal’s ‘Love Story’: ‘Love means never having to say you’re sorry.’ However, it is with sincere regret that I must now kill all of you.” — Barnabas Collins, “Dark Shadows”
- “Never say, ‘Who’s there?’ Don’t you watch scary movies? It’s a death wish. You might as well come out to investigate a strange noise or something.” — Ghostface, “Scream”
- “Dobby never meant to kill. He only meant to maim, or seriously injure.” — Dobby, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows”
- “Isn’t the view beautiful? It takes my breath away. Well, it would if I had any.” — The Corpse Bride, “The Corpse Bride”
- “I attended Juilliard, I’m a graduate of the Harvard Business School. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that.” — Beetlejuice, “Beetlejuice”
- “Cross your heart … hope to die … stick a needle in your eye … shake your bottom if you got ‘em.” — Lynn Farmer, “Double, Double, Toil and Trouble”
- “I’m just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It’s just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.” — Morticia Addams, “Addams Family Values”
- “I ate John. I wept the entire meal. Even though he tasted delicious.” — Nandor, “What We Do in the Shadows”
- “I don’t understand it. I went trick-or-treating and all I got was a bag full of rocks.” — Charlie Brown, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”
- “Everything in this room is eatable. Even I’m eatable! But that is called ‘cannibalism,’ my dear children, and is in fact, frowned upon in most societies.” — Charlie Bucket, “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”
- “How many times do I have to tell you? There is no such thing as ghouls, ghosts, goblins or monsters! Listen up, there is absolutely, absolutely no such thing as … MONSTER!” — Fred, “Scooby-Doo: The Movie”
- “Well, now, let me put it this way. If all the corpses buried around here were to stand up all at once, we’d have one hell of a population problem.” — Grandpa, “The Lost Boys”
- “Sir, what you had there is what we refer to as a focused, non-terminal, repeating phantasm or a class-five full-roaming vapor. A real nasty one, too.” — Dr. Raymond Stantz, “Ghostbusters”
- “Has it ever occurred to you that it might be unsettling to see you arise from the grave to visit me?” — David Kessler, “American Werewolf in London”
Conclusion
Modern society has learned how to make every holiday, even a once spooky one like Halloween, a chance to get together or reach out to the ones you love. The present way of celebrating Halloween started with little pranks and the borrowing of food and money from door to door. When some Irish immigrants brought it to America, it eventually changed into a day of trick-or-treating and wearing costumes.
This gives an aura of inclusion, while also morphing the holiday into a time to be happy. Keep the spirit moving (pun intended) by sharing some of the jokes we have shown you with others. We know that you will enjoy them!
