Witches, ghosts, and goblins- oh my! It’s that time again when the spooks come out to play. If you’re looking for a few laughs this Halloween, you’ve come to the right place.
In this blog post, we’ve compiled a list of 31 spooky, funny jokes for adults. Whether you’re gearing up for a party or want something to lighten the mood, these jokes will surely get you in the spirit!
Witch Jokes
Witches are a classic Halloween staple. If you’re looking for a few laughs this season, check out our list of witch jokes for adults.
- Q: How do you catch a runaway witch?
A: Tie her to a broom!
- Q: What’s a witch’s favorite fruit?
A: A bat-berry!
- Q: What does a witch use to fix her hair?
A: A scarecrow!
- Q: How does a witch tell time?
A: By the position of the broom!
- Q: What’s a witch’s favorite animal?
A: A black cat, of course!
- Q: What do you call a witch’s husband?
A: A warlock!
- Q: How does a witch make her coffee?
A: With eye of newt and toe of frog!
- Q: What’s a witch’s favorite drink?
A: Bat- juice!
- Q: What’s a witch’s favorite food?
A: Broiled bats!
- Q: How can you tell if a witch is mad at you?
A: She gives you the evil eye!
- Q: What do you get when you cross a witch with an octopus?
A: A spell caster who can really tie you in knots!
- Q: How do you know if a witch is truly evil?
A: She cackles when she’s happy!
- Q: What do you call a witch with an itchy nose?
A: A witch with a wart!
- Q: How can you tell if a witch is about to ride her broom?
A: She’ll be carrying a dustpan!
- Q: How can you tell if a witch is angry?
A: Look for the signs: a black cat, an upturned broom, and green smoke coming out of her ears!
- Q: How can you tell if a witch is having a bad day?
A: She’s riding her broom backwards!
- Q: How can you tell if a witch is about to attack?
A: She’s stirring her cauldron with her finger!
Bat Jokes
Bats are another popular Halloween creature. If you’re looking for a few laughs this season, check out our list of bat jokes for adults.
- Q: How do you tell if a bat is blind?
A: It hangs upside down all the time!
- Q: How does a bat find its way around in the dark?
A: It uses echolocation!
- Q: How can you tell if a bat is sleeping during the day?
A: It will be hanging upside down from a tree or other surface!
- Q: What do you call a bat that can’t fly?
A: A ground bat!
- Q: What do you call a bat with no wings?
A: A rat with wings!
- Q: What do you call a baby bat?
A: A pup or a kit!
- Q: What do you call a group of bats?
A: A colony or a roost!
- Q: How can you tell if a bat is male or female?
A: Male bats have testicles, but you can’t really see them because they’re very small. Female bats don’t have testicles.
- Q: How long do bats live?
A: Most bats live for around 20 years, but some have been known to live for up to 40 years!
- Q: What do bats eat?
A: Bats eat insects, and some bat species also eat fruit.
- Q: Do bats attack people?
A: Bats are not aggressive and will only attack people if they feel threatened.
Pumpkin jokes
- Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite food?
A: Pumpkin pie!
- Q: What’s a pumpkin’s least favorite food?
A: Anything else!
- Q: What does a pumpkin say when it’s happy?
A: I’m all smiles!
- Q: What does a pumpkin say when it’s angry?
A: I’m steamed!
- Q: What does a pumpkin say when it’s scared?
A: I’m frightened!
- Q: What does a pumpkin say when it’s sick?
A: I’m unwell!
- Q: What does a pumpkin say when it’s tired?
A: I’m weary!
- Q: What does a pumpkin say when it’s full?
A: I’m stuffed!
- Q: What does a pumpkin say when it’s hungry?
A: I’m famished!
- Q: What does a pumpkin say when it’s thirsty?
A: I’m parched!
- Q: What does a pumpkin say when it’s annoyed?
A: I’m irritated!
- Q: What does a pumpkin say when it’s surprised?
A: I’m taken aback!
- Q: When does a pumpkin talk?
A: When it’s in a gourd- conversation!
- Q: What does a pumpkin say when it’s in love?
A: I’m gourd-eous!
- Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite color?
A: Orange, of course!
- Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite movie?
A: The Great Pumpkin!
- Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite song?
A: “I Can’t Get No” by the Rolling Gourds!
- Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite book?
A: The Gourd of the Flies!
- Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
A: squash!
- Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite game?
A: seed spitting!
- Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite party game?
A: bobbing for apples!
- Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite Halloween decoration?
A: Jack-o’-lanterns!
Halloween Riddles for Adults
- Q: How do you catch a vampire?
A: You tie him to a stake and wait for him to get hungry!
- Q: I’m a creature of the night with a taste for blood. Who am I?
A: A vampire!
- Q: I have a long neck, and I’m usually green. Who am I?
A: A giraffe!
- Q: I have a long neck, and I’m usually orange. Who am I?
A: A pumpkin!
- Q: What’s a witch’s favorite type of cheese?
A: Bats-up!
- Q: What’s a witch’s favorite type of ice cream?
A: Cauldron flavor!
- Q: What’s a witch’s favorite type of bread?
A: Bat-ter!
- Q: I’m green, and I’m slimy. Who am I?
A: A slime monster!
- Q: I’m orange, and I’m fuzzy. Who am I?
A: A pumpkin!
- Q: I’m black, and I’m spooky. Who am I?
A: A cat!
- Q: I’m red, and I’m scary. Who am I?
A: A dragon!
- Q: I’m white, and I’m spooky. Who am I?
A: A ghost!
- Q: I’m brown, and I’m hairy. Who am I?
A: A werewolf!
- Q: I’m small, and I’m cute. Who am I?
A: A mouse!
- Q: I’m small, and I’m spooky. Who am I?
A: A spider!
Conclusion
Adults and children enjoy celebrating Halloween with jokes, riddles, and fun activities. Whether you’re dressing up in costumes, going trick-or-treating, or attending a Halloween party, these jokes and riddles will surely add extra fun to your holiday!
